marți, decembrie 22, 2009

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Mama, e ceva timp de cand n-am mai trecut pe `acilisa. Sincer, n-am mai avut chef sa scriu, iar in afara de asta, n-am avut nici inspiratie, motive ori stari necesare unui refugiu adanc in pagina prafuita a blog-ului meu. Nici acum nu am, desi de vreo 3-4 ore imi tot pun intrebari, caut raspunsuri, desi stiu ca ele nu vor veni. Dar sunt un tip persistent, voi cauta pana ma voi plictisi.
Ma intreb de ce niciodata-n viata nu primim ce vrem? Chiar niciodata! Poate ca avem clipe de fericire, clipe in care radem cu gura pana la urechi, dar suntem vreodata cu adevarat fericiti? Astazi, mai devreme, acum 3-4 ore, incercam sa rad, dar nu era chiar rasul meu. Imi dadeam seama ca ceva ce n-a fost niciodata al meu, imi scapa printre degete. Cum mi-ar putea scapa printre degete ceva ce n-a fost niciodata al meu? Pai as zice ca simplu, avand in vedere ca oamenii sunt visatori. E clar, visam, ne imaginam in ipostaze dragalase, prin zapada rece de afara sau sub dusul fierbinte din baia proaspat faiantata. Speram sa fie realitate, ba chiar inchidem ochii si pentru cateva clipe, surpriza, traim o realitate imaginara. Si cum (ii) ziceam si azi, "you make me feel so beautiful", desi probabil nu se merita, n-are rost si nu trebuie.
Nu ma astept sa inteleaga cineva ce-am scris eu pe aici, de fapt nici eu nu-nteleg, sunt fracturi in logica evenimentelor, dar cu toate astea ma simt mai bine, mai golit de sentimentele grele, ma simt bine. Si inghetat, pentru ca e foarte friiiig.
In cazul in care Mosulica va considera c-am fost suficient de cuminte anul asta, ceva bun se va intampla. Nu stiu ce, imi pot imagina doar. Tu-ti dai seama ce? Da, tu, chiar tu!

30 de comentarii:

Simina spunea...

Eu cred ca ai fost suficient de cuminte anul asta :D cu siguranta meriti tot ce e mai bun....daca nu ma uitai era si mai bine.
Te pup, Aditucule :*:*:*:* miss u

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Nu te-am uitat, probabil timpul si alte problemute au facut sa fie asa. Dar, in adancul sufletului, nu te-am uitat. Multumesc mult oricum.

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Acest comentariu a fost eliminat de autor.
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Eu am inteles.. Si sunt fericita ca am inteles. Si totusi.. stiu prin ce treci .. si nu e deloc usor.

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